Question: How do I stay professional when I feel frustrated or overwhelmed?

Answer: For me, professionalism begins with emotional maturity; recognising that I can experience frustration, pressure or overwhelm without allowing those emotions to dictate how I respond to others. I do not need to suppress the emotion; I need to manage myself within it.

Pause, Regulate & Reflect
I first identify the emotion and seek to understand its source. Is it frustration, disappointment, pressure or overwhelm? I ground myself; feet firmly on the floor, a few slow, intentional mindful breaths and, where possible, step away. Physical activity, a short walk or even a cup of coffee can also help clear the mind and reset perspective.

Prayer, meditation and intentional periods of stillness are important personal practices for me. They allow me to regain perspective and reconnect with what my faith describes as responding with “power, love and a sound mind”, rather than from fear or anxiety.

Shift The Perspective
I then consider: What is within my control? What can I influence? What must I accept and release?

The three shifts in Legitimate Leadership provide a useful framework:

1. Attention: from past/present to future: Rather than remaining focused on what happened, I ask, “What needs to happen next?”
2. Intention: from taking to giving: Rather than focusing on what I need or am not receiving, I ask, “What can I contribute?”
3. Accountability: from not accountable to accountable: I take ownership of my response, my choices and my next action.

I also assess whether I have the empowerment, namely, the means and the ability required to address the issue. Where I do not, the appropriate response may be to initiate the conversation necessary to create that empowerment.

Be Intentional With Time & Attention
Overwhelm can also signal that I need to examine how I am allocating my time and attention.

I ask: What is important? What is urgent? And am I investing my energy in what genuinely matters? Am I spending my time appropriately?

A principle I find particularly valuable in Legitimate Leadership is that our attention follows our intention. When my intention is clear, I can deliberately direct my attention, time, and energy toward the outcomes and priorities that matter, rather than allowing urgency, distraction, or external demands to determine my focus.

Maintain Professionalism
None of this means that I suppress difficult emotions. It means I take responsibility for how I express and manage them. I do not allow my frustration to become someone else’s experience.

I can be frustrated without being disrespectful, overwhelmed without becoming reactive, and assertive without being abrasive.

For me, remaining professional means maintaining composure, choosing my words carefully, treating people with respect and care and remaining accountable for how I show up, particularly when circumstances are testing.

Do not assume people understand your current reality and therefore must deal with your backlash or withdrawal. Stay professional.

When Overwhelm Persists
If the feeling of overwhelm continues, I believe it warrants deeper reflection. I conduct what I call a personal life audit:

• Where am I?
• What is consuming my energy?
• What am I tolerating?
• How am I spending my time?
• What do I value?
• And am I intentionally creating the life I want?

Sometimes the answer isn’t to get better at managing an unsustainable situation, but to have the maturity and courage to change the situation itself and remain professional in my dealings with others.

I may not control the circumstance or another person’s behaviour, but I can always take responsibility for how I choose to show up. I don’t have to control the emotion to remain professional; I have to remain accountable for how I respond to it.

Pause before you react. Regulate before you respond. Clarify your intention, direct your attention and take accountability for your actions.